 Recently, I asked you to tell me which of these was better: The crow drank its fill from the snow’s melted puddle, sprayed rainbows flying away. OR The crow drank its fill from a puddle of snow, sprayed rainbows flying. The response was heavily in favor of version 2. A.S. suggested that the poem could be made into a "formal" haiku like this: The crow drank its fill from a clear puddle of snow, sprayed rainbows in flight. I like that. No-one suggested a title, so I'll give it one of my own. Here's the final version: Snow Crow The crow drank its fill from a clear puddle of snow, sprayed rainbows in flight. Can you think of further improvements? Categories All
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